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I’m reading a book called You and the Police by Boston T. Party

I highly recommend it. It’s written by a smart guy who really knows his shit.
It’s about how to deal with the cops, under many different situations.

One thing he mentions are a few different high-profile 2ed Amendment rights advocates who were allegedly set up by the feds (like having illegal machine gun parts shipped to them without them knowing about it , then arresting them when they sign for the package)
Here’s one of the guys he talks about, who was set up and served five years in prison:
http://www.keepandbeararms.com/NewsArchives/XcNewsPlus.asp?cmd=view&articleid=298

I’m rethinking my new “Sex and Guns” film project idea. I just think that with the controversy level of the topics of both films, especially combined, could attract stuff like that. My ideas on the first and second amendment (and the 4th amendment) may not match that of the powers that be. (Especially with the impending regime change. Who knows yet what they’re thinking? Though I have a few postulations which may not be that far off from the truth.) I feel strongly about my beliefs, but not strongly enough to go to prison for them if there’s no need to. I am a little torn: I feel a need to educate and spread truth in a world of lies, but also feel like “Why fucking take a (figurative?) bullet for a world that’s mostly cat-food-on-the-hoof and doesn’t care?” There’s “I need to help change the world” vs. “I’ve already done a lot of that, will do a lot more, but I need to pick my battles.”

Also, after putting an “open call” up on a kink forum, and gotten a few replies, I’ve realized something I should have thought of: many folks who are into kink are so damn sure that THEIR WAY of doing it is the only way, it would be a nightmare to do this film. I talked to several very sane people who were cool and not like this, but even that was a lot of logistics, a lot of back and forth. But I ran into a few who were like “Why is my unique and special group of people (Transsexuals, left-handed Irish-Jewish single mothers from the Milwaukee, etc., whatever…) not represented in what you’re planning! I am being oppressed by you!” A small but very vocal (and armed!) sub-group of gun people are the same way, me thinks.

It’s different doing non-fiction books I’ve been involved in previously, the Film School book, Dollie’s “SM Diary”, the Fuck book, etc. They don’t claim to be representational of a whole scene, they only say “Here’s how I do it.” I guess the DIY or DIE movie did represent a “movement” or a “scene”, but I had to interview 40 people, use 30 of them in the film, and some people still said it wasn’t representative of their particular and important niche or world view. (I knew that would happen, which is part of why I put “NOW GO MAKE YOUR OWN MOVIE!” at the very end of the film, in big block letters.

I sort of feel like I’m a loser if I start something and don’t finish it, but I’ve only put five days of thought and writing and contacting people into this so far. So maybe that’s not “working on the project”, maybe it’s just “research”, and my thorough research concluded with me stamping the proposal “Unfeasible.” I have done this with a few projects over the past couple years. These proposed films, and two 40-page book proposals for books I may never write: “$30 Life School” and “Politics for the Rest of Us.” But everything I do, even if it never sees light of day, helps me formulate my world plan going forward. So there is no loss.

I guess I feel I’m at a crossroads with my life and about what to do next, artistically. I do have trouble taking time to rest between projects. The YouTube book shipped to the printer last Thursday, and by Sunday night, I’d written the complete funding/budget/proposal/treatment/website for these two new movies, which now, I’ll probably never make. And I have to remind myself, while I have started three projects I probably won’t finish in the past three years, here’s what I have done in the past three years that was completed and did see the light of day:

• Finished the Selby movie.
• co-wrote the YouTube book.
• co-wrote “DIY Now: Digital Audio
• produced and recorded 180 episodes of SAC podcast.
• produced and recorded 80 episodes of Clone The Homeless podcast.
• produced and recorded 20 episodes of Deal Machine podcast.
• produced and recorded 12 episodes of Radio Free Nestlandia podcast.
• Recorded three podiobooks.
• wrote the fuck book
• co-wrote SM Diary
• Co-wrote The Plump Buffet
• Wrote and recorded some good songs.
• Shared over 1 million “radio show from my living room” episodes in 79 countries, via BitTorrent
• spent a lot of quality time with my wife. And my cats.

Sometimes the most zen think you can do is nothing. I’m going to try, for the second or third time in a decade, to do nothing for a few days or more. Wish me luck.

MEW!

This entry was posted by Michael W. Dean on Thursday, November 20th, 2008 at 3:24 am and is filed under The world is a strange and beautiful place. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.